Captain Harry’s the name, mighty pirate!

Hey, landlubber! Come over here and let me introduce meself.

What might your name be then? Oh, lovely to meet you. Shake me hand there, that’s a good fella. Ha! You can’t ’cause I’m a ghost see! hahaha, just kidding with ya, fine fella.

Hook Hand Harry, that’s what they call me, or just Harry. You notice I don’t have no hooks no more. Well, I weren’t born with no metal hands and metal hands aint got no soul so it didn’t come back with me, see?

But I did get me hand back, didn’t I? Look at these lovelies, woohoo!

You probably should know I’m the most famous person ever born round here parts. That’s probably why I came back – oh no, best not say nothing, leave that as a surprise for when Karl publishes his first volume of the new history of our little village.

Ah see, there we are. That’s us right there on that magic box of yours.

salmonweird pirate ship

Anyways, as I was saying. He’s a mighty fine fella that Karl Blackman. Damn fine fella if you ask me. Loyal to a fault. Considers him a good friend I does even those he’s a landlubber and don’t drink rum with me and the lads.

Do you partake?


Karl told you not to accept a rum drinking contest? As if Cap’n Harry would do such a thing. No, just share some sippin’ rum with me and the lads right here. That’s it, get some o’that down your watering hole.

Whadda ya think? Good?

Now, we’re like friends now aint we, if you ever needs anything while you’re here in Salmonweir, you come talk to Cap’n Harry.

Let me tell you about the finest woman who ever sailed the seas. Catherine’s her name, The Lady Catherine. She’s a fine beaut of a woman that one and she’s a one man woman if you got a mind to know what I’m saying.

Tells you what, why don’t you come down to the dock a bit later and me and the lads will tell you all about the ship? We’d let you aboard but I’m afraid you living types tend to struggle with that sort of thing.

‘Hey Eddie, Eddie! Yeah, Eddie, open your cloth ears. Go tell First Mate Benjamin that we might have a little guest coming a bit later.

Well, mustn’t keep you. I guess you got more people to see around the pub. Pleasant day my friend, and don’t forget to come see the ship later.

Hey, before you go, want to hear a pirate song? Right boys, let’s show ’em what we can do!

See updates from the Salmonweird Village website as they happen! (not that much happens here, aside from the occasional murder).

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