Welcome to the King’s Head!

the kings head salmonweir

Make yourself at home, dear visitor. Take a menu and a copy of our extensive cider list. No pub in Cornwall has quite so many ciders.

We have more cider than beer but as a free house, we carefully select all our brews. Talking of which, we do tea and recently got a coffee barista thingy for people who just want coffee in all its forms.

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Hello, I’m Brother Jowan, the Priest of the Church here

Delighted to meet you, stranger. I was, perhaps for about 20 minutes, the Salmonweir resident who lived the the furthest back in time. I say for about 20 minutes because shortly after that I believe Kensa appeared. She’s the red haired woman over there with the sword. Oh, you’ve met? Fine, fine.

Would you care for some wine? I bought a whole bottle of this French red but I’m afraid I won’t be drinking all of it. I’d hoped Karl would join me so we could do something called “marketing” for the new book. Have you heard? We’re releasing a book about events that happened around Bonfire Night. You’ll meet me, of course. And you’ll meet Karl and you’ll see how he solved the first case.

Unfortunately, you will also meet Eli. He’s a preacher from a period you might call The Inter-regnal or Cromwellian era. He’s not local, but I am. We share the church, giving separate services to our respective congregations. I can’t say I agree with it, of course, because there is no greater authority on spiritual matters than The Papacy as far as I am concerned.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to bore you with theology. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am Cornish. Originally from much farther east of here, a place called Penryn. My father was a wealthy merchant. As the third son, I was unfortunate enough not to have much to inherit but fortunate enough to enjoy learning. Naturally, the monastery at St Michael’s Mount was ideal for me. That’s how I ended up in Salmonweir in the 1340s. I was sent to help the village during The Black Death years.

Which brings me to my arrival. Seeing me must have upset Valarie Blackman because she left soon after. Karl keeps telling me not to blame myself but I cannot help it. I understand the monastery of St Michael is no longer a monastery. A shame, but it was a long time ago and I must make the best of my current situation. Whatever reason God sent me back, I should try to enjoy it.

Well, I shouldn’t keep you from meeting the others. My door is open any time. If I’m not at home, I am usually at the church.

Please do consider buying our book though.

I was queen of these lands once

Before the Romans came, this was a green and healthy land. We didn’t have the big towns and cities that they built, with their filthy water and animal waste. The Dumnonii were a proud people and we were clean. We were strong and we were feared.

Of course, nothing is left of our imposing fortresses, not any more. They were big and strong unlike the tribes across the Tamar with their weird hill forts.

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Captain Harry’s the name, mighty pirate!

Hey, landlubber! Come over here and let me introduce meself.

What might your name be then? Oh, lovely to meet you. Shake me hand there, that’s a good fella. Ha! You can’t ’cause I’m a ghost see! hahaha, just kidding with ya, fine fella.

Hook Hand Harry, that’s what they call me, or just Harry. You notice I don’t have no hooks no more. Well, I weren’t born with no metal hands and metal hands aint got no soul so it didn’t come back with me, see?

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DI Karl Blackman, Pleased to Meet You

Ah, another living human! I can’t tell you how rare that is around here. I’m DI Karl Blackman – retired, but as the saying goes “once a copper, always a copper.” Can I buy you a drink?

Excellent, a good choice. Ignore what Harry says. He thinks rum is the answer to everything. Have a cold? Have some rum! Milk gone off? Put rum in your tea instead. Seagulls deposited something on your car? Rum will get that off. Want to get pregnant, feeling constipated, got a paper cut? You get the idea…

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What and Where is Salmonweir?

Welcome to our gorgeous little village. We’re tucked away on the south coast of Cornwall in an area known as West Penwith. For those who know Cornwall, we’re located about halfway between Treen and Lamorna Cove. There are two reasons Salmonweir is largely ignored. They are called Mousehole and Porthcurno.

We don’t mind. We like being out of the way, an undiscovered gem, if you like. We do get tourists in the summer, but it is never so many as to overwhelm the place. Now that the living persons have all gone bar one, and the majority residents are ghosts, that could change.

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