If you’re dithering over whether to spend just £4.99 of your hard-earned cash on this ebook or £9.99 on the hard copy, never fear. I want you to decide whether this book would be for you before you buy it. That’s why I’m giving away three chapters for free right here.Continue reading “Read Salmonweird: Chapters 1-3 Now!”
From Friday 8th November 2019
Host: DI (Retired) Karl Blackman
Minutes taken by Village Committee Secretary Babajide
Hello and welcome to the village hall here at Salmonweir, ladies and gentlemen of the local press and book fans alike. It’s so good to see you all here today. I must admit, we didn’t quite expect so many of you.Continue reading “Transcript of a Public Talk about the Salmonweird Books”
Hello stranger. Do you know what today is? 2nd September may not mean anything to you, but today it’s one of celebration. That’s why we’re having this street party on the quayside. Here, have a scone and help yourself to some tea – or gin if that’s what you prefer.
Take a seat! There is plenty of space and despite what you might have read in the tabloid press, we don’t eat living people, we welcome them.Continue reading “Salmonweird – the First Book About Our Village -is Out Now”
I don’t know what Brother Jowan told you about me, but I assure you very little of it is likely true. That man exists purely to taunt me and he tells the other villagers lies about me all the time just to turn them against me. Luckily, most people don’t believe him. Every Sunday, my congregation is larger than his.Continue reading “I’m Pastor Eli, hello. Will we see you at the church?”
Delighted to meet you, stranger. I was, perhaps for about 20 minutes, the Salmonweir resident who lived the the furthest back in time. I say for about 20 minutes because shortly after that I believe Kensa appeared. She’s the red haired woman over there with the sword. Oh, you’ve met? Fine, fine.Continue reading “Hello, I’m Brother Jowan, the Priest of the Church here”
Is it an unusual name? It’s just Cornish for April. Oh thank you for saying it’s a pretty name. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it but I’m glad you like it.
Did my father send you? Oh no? That’s all right then, I can relax a bit.Continue reading “Hi! I’m Ebrel Penrose, nice to meet you!”
Before the Romans came, this was a green and healthy land. We didn’t have the big towns and cities that they built, with their filthy water and animal waste. The Dumnonii were a proud people and we were clean. We were strong and we were feared.
Of course, nothing is left of our imposing fortresses, not any more. They were big and strong unlike the tribes across the Tamar with their weird hill forts.Continue reading “I was queen of these lands once”
Hey, landlubber! Come over here and let me introduce meself.
What might your name be then? Oh, lovely to meet you. Shake me hand there, that’s a good fella. Ha! You can’t ’cause I’m a ghost see! hahaha, just kidding with ya, fine fella.
Hook Hand Harry, that’s what they call me, or just Harry. You notice I don’t have no hooks no more. Well, I weren’t born with no metal hands and metal hands aint got no soul so it didn’t come back with me, see?Continue reading “Captain Harry’s the name, mighty pirate!”
Ah, another living human! I can’t tell you how rare that is around here. I’m DI Karl Blackman – retired, but as the saying goes “once a copper, always a copper.” Can I buy you a drink?
Excellent, a good choice. Ignore what Harry says. He thinks rum is the answer to everything. Have a cold? Have some rum! Milk gone off? Put rum in your tea instead. Seagulls deposited something on your car? Rum will get that off. Want to get pregnant, feeling constipated, got a paper cut? You get the idea…Continue reading “DI Karl Blackman, Pleased to Meet You”
Make yourself at home, dear visitor. Take a menu and a copy of our extensive cider list. No pub in Cornwall has quite so many ciders.
We have more cider than beer but as a free house, we carefully select all our brews. Talking of which, we do tea and recently got a coffee barista thingy for people who just want coffee in all its forms.Continue reading “Welcome to the King’s Head!”